Facebook - Terms (and Conditions) of Endearment

******* ****** has changed his relationship status

******* ****** is now single

We've all seen it.  Then watched with compulsive fascination to see any comments that are made, wondering what has happened but not quite knowing the protocol.  In the past, the days *BF, this would have never been an issue.  We would have bumped into an old friend on the street, swapped pleasantries, enquired "How's the missus?" only to receive the reply, "Oh, didn't you hear?" and would then get the full story from the (newly-single) horses mouth.   

Yet now, this is rarely the way things will pan out.  Our friendships through Facebook are totally different.  We become "friends" with people who would normally just remain acquaintances.  We're kept in constant contact with friends who we don't know too well *IRL.  We're all too aware, also, that there is no "tone" in our comment.  It's hard to convey actually sympathy when we can neither show a caring face nor rest a reassuring hand.

"So", you say, "send a private message." But it's not that simple.  I'm "friends" with enough teenagers to have seen, all too frequently, a status in the vein of "Why me?? *FML :'(" only to be followed by a litany of sad faces, interspersed with "*PM me now!". This makes me feel that sending a PM is like digging for dirt and, often assuming a close relationship that I may not have.

I don't think it's attention seeking to change your relationship status on Facebook without telling the whole story.  I can imagine you'd want people to know so they don't put their foot in it.  

Then you're also left with another dilemma.  If you're friends with a couple and they split up, who do you stay friends with?  I fell out with a friend once because she insisted that I unfriend her ex on Facebook and I refused.  Is it the same as taking sides?  Doesn't it become like splitting the record collection, where each chooses which Facebook friends to keep?  And if I do unfriend, do I still keep them tagged in my photos? 

******* ****** is now in a relationship with ******* *******

So it's not just in break-ups that I can commit a social media faux pas.  Commenting on a friend's new relationship is easy enough, but when they actually mention their new beau, we can't help but have a nosey to see who they are.  Are we allowed then to comment, passing critique? "Wow, he's a bit of alright! I definitely would!" or "Hon, you could do so much better!!"

Well, I think we can safely say that I'm never gonna know the right things to say.  And when I'm as a loss, I find that, as IRL, *hugs* generally do the job!

BF - Before Facebook

IRL - In Real Life

FML - Fuck My Life

PM - Private Message

What Twitter Has Taught Me

Since I joined Twitter (12th October 2008), I've been accused of "wasting my time" with people I don't know, talking rubbish.  However this is certainly not the case.  There are many things I have learned from Twitter.

Most celebrities aren't as pleasant as they appear - although some are @Schofe

People do find real love on the internet @lisaflowers54 & @mattalbans  @GKM77X & @francopopfille

Rude and irreverent is bloody hilarious and brings out the worst in me @jinks67

Home schooling is an excellent option when it's done right @liveotherwise

The law is a ass @pauljchambers

Nothing compares to sisters @24caratblonde & @dumbblonde301

Any Dream Will Do and if you stick to it, it may come true @mduffywriter

You don't need alcohol to be witty and entertaining - sometimes tea does it @Tasshhaaar

There are things I don't need to learn coz someone else will have the answer @unabatedshagie

Ginger kittens make people soft @KingOfAnkh

There is a LOT to be won on the internet @SuperluckyDi

Friday nights are staying in nights @FridayTwiz

Mine is not the only family that communicates through Twitter @ChrisseBeads, @MaestroOfWyre, @joshuaflitter & @_Canard

The weirdest thing about meeting people you met online is that it's not weird @cdlees

Make-up is an artform that I will never master @JoJo_Nash

Bowls can be quite competative @Asher_Basher1

I STILL have no idea what copywriters do @bobblebardsley

There nowt like a proper bromance @imintheshed & @willbuckley

I have made many friends on Twitter, some that I know will be friends forever @nickie72, @Dennisisamenace, @Becki_says, @liberatedwomble and many, many, many more!

What's pissed me off this week

I have decided to start a weekly (ok, the intention is weekly, but in reality, it will be lucky if it survives this week!) post covering the things that have pissed me off in the previous seven days (in the interests of catch-up, this post will cover everything that has pissed me off in the previous gazillion days in my life).  

1. Bullying - or to be precise, the Panorama documentary about cyber-bullying.  I know this isn't going to be a popular opinion, but it comes from someone who was bullied most of her school life and still has instances of bullying now.  Bullying in school is appalling and every school's main aim should be to eliminate it.  Kids can be horrible and their parents don't help matters.  It is everyone's responsibility to tackle bullying.  However.. (ok, this is where it gets controversial...) cyber-bullying, while just as hurtful and damaging, has a simple solution. Block and report. Silence your online presence. Avoid Formspring. These people will never stop, so just don't give them an audience.  A parent will take their child out of school because of bullying, yet they don't remove them from Facebook?  I've taught my kids not to be online victims - it's every parents responsibility to do the same.
2. Blogging - it's always been a love/hate relationship.  I love to read them, it's sometimes a chore to write them (which defeats the purpose) but having read a couple of new-to-me bloggers this week, it amazes me that they can manage to write a blog, perched as they are on that high horse of theirs!  Blogging is fun, to me it's like a really long tweet.  I've never done PR, I can never remember what SEO stands for.  It's like a "U"-rated diary, where I can spout my verbal diarrhoea, to coin a phrase. It's not about being influential, it's not about numbers, it's not about Klout (sigh..), but about you being you being entertaining. IMHO, of course.
3. Snow - seriously, be soft, romantic, idyllic, magically... or just fuck off, there's no inbetween.
4. Facebook Statitus - the compulsion to air your endless moans and groans on Facebook, in an effort to draw attention and virtual hugs. Everyone deserves sympathy now and then, but sometimes it's nice to hear the good news, to hear the happy times, to hear you've just have a decent cup of tea, ffs!! (This infection is spreading online, mutating to the growing Twitter Updatitus. Get vaccinated now!)
5. Take Me Out...ta here! - Nope, this isn't a rant about how much I hate Take Me Out, (though that is so true.. you wouldn't believe how enraged it makes me.. the archaic format, the sexist banter...grrrr...but, I digress) this is a twitter bugbear of mine.  Some people like some programmes, and so they tweet about those programmes.  Some people hate those programmes... so why, the fuck, do they tweet about those programmes? You don't like it, we get it.  That doesn't give you the right to sneer and deride people who do?  Block the hashtag, ignore the tweets or, god forbid, turn off Twitter! Just stop being so pompous!

I think that's enough.  There are obviously more than five things that pissed me off, but in an attempt to avoid being on anyone else's list, I'll quit while I'm ahead!